Toilet Epiphany

Recovery is such a strange experience... it makes you think about things way out of the realms that even under the influence, most people would never think about. Take for instance, just a few moments ago. I got out of work and I went out to get coffee and discuss my life with a fellow friend. And so I come home, and because of the caffeine, I have to pee. So, I go into my bathroom, sit down on the toilet, and relieve my bladder. And mid-stream, I began to think. Going to the bathroom in my old life was such a different experience. Because rarely would I ever enter the bathroom with pure intentions of just relieving my excretory system. I mean, that would usually happen during the process; but going to the bathroom was like a ritual. I had my using supplies stashed among my toiletries and personal items, and upon entering the bathroom I would always lock the door. Now, I’m not a very shameful person. I will pee with the stall door open in a public bathroom. Call it laziness; call it a lack of humility. I just call it being comfortable with myself. But anyway, while sitting on my toilet before, I realized that rarely do I ever lock doors. Because I have nothing to hide anymore! Sure, maybe someone might walk in while I am peeing or excreting, but the worst that will happen is that we will share an awkward moment- perhaps even a stifled giggle, and then forget about it later. The reason behind all the locked doors was not that of a desire for privacy, but needing to hide the things I was doing. Because even if someone walked in on me in the bathroom, I would not have a tourniquet around my arm and be poking around my veins with a needle. So when all was said and done, I briefly considered taking all of the locks out of my doors, because no longer do I need to hide. My family, however... I don't know how they would feel about that. Just because you change, and can pee with the door open, doesn't necessarily mean your family can, too.

Just food for thought...